@tibianchini
1 year ago
Public
Grandmother Mary
(I woke up this morning from a dream of the past. Wet pillow by tears of longing. So, nostalgic, I remembered this chronicle. Sometimes emotion is something that only we feel; perhaps to anyone who reads it looks like a simple chronicle, organized and structured words. An ordinary story. But for me, it's not... So this one goes to anyone who wants to read, with emotion)
YOU MARY
Time passes for all, with your relentless indifference...
I remember the streets near Grandma's house, that we would go running up when she came to visit her (but not running too far ahead, not to get lost). The old shops and houses, the bakery on the corner, the walled cement.
Everything remembered past, everything remembered sunny days. I remember childhood.
And today, when I see the cousins, it's so hard to understand how it could be!... Some have married, others have children, others have married again!... Where those days went, those sunny days, playing in Grandma's backyard, making sure the ball didn't hit the flowers...
Oh, Grandma's flowers!
And all of a sudden, it seems that everything is still there: that tomorrow it will be sunny and hot, and that we go there to play with cousins and cousins, running down the hall and climbing the well wall, getting dirty on the ground of broken cement... And that grandma will show up at the kitchen door, asking us to come to lunch and stop messing around (because sometimes we really deserve a scolding).
And we're going to sit around the table, in that huge kitchen, with that huge grandmother (yes, because we were very small still...) and eat singing, disturbed by the barks of Toquinho, the aunt's dog that lived next door.
Today I look at the cousins' children, at grandma's great-grandchildren, and I wonder who will call them to eat, who will scold when they dirty the clothes on the clothesline, who will put them inside because it will rain... I see them playing, running, finding the other cousins who live far away, and I wonder if I can't run with them too, "Let's play, come get me, it's with you!"
That tiny house, in the back of the yard, sometimes dark, but full of life, will no longer lead me to the past. As long as I could hug Grandma and have coffee and remember I was a kid. At the time when we used to put beans in cotton, to moisten and watch life sprout. (Oh, if only we could make the life of those we love sprout like a bean, with just a little cotton and water!...)
And even though we know of Grandma's suffering in recent times, despite knowing that she will finally be able to rest, we all weep, knowing that there is the fate of each of us, knowing that it is so, that there are no days of sun and beans that resist time, ah, time, this passing train, inexorable and indifferent.