Chapter 60

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Elizabeth’s spirits soon rising to playfulness again, she wanted Mr.
Darcy to account for his having ever fallen in love with her. “How could
you begin?” said she. “I can comprehend your going on charmingly, when
you had once made a beginning; but what could set you off in the first
place?”

“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which
laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I
knew that I had begun.”

“My beauty you had early withstood, and as for my manners--my behaviour
to you was at least always bordering on the uncivil, and I never spoke
to you without rather wishing to give you pain than not. Now, be
sincere; did you admire me for my impertinence?”

“For the liveliness of your mind I did.”

“You may as well call it impertinence at once. It was very little less.
The fact is, that you were sick of civility, of deference, of officious
attention. You were disgusted with the women who were always speaking,
and looking, and thinking for your approbation alone. I roused and
interested you, because I was so unlike them. Had you not been really
amiable you would have hated me for it: but in spite of the pains you
took to disguise yourself, your feelings were always noble and just; and
in your heart you thoroughly despised the persons who so assiduously
courted you. There--I have saved you the trouble of accounting for it;
and really, all things considered, I begin to think it perfectly
reasonable. To be sure you know no actual good of me--but nobody thinks
of that when they fall in love.”

“Was there no good in your affectionate behaviour to Jane, while she was
ill at Netherfield?”

“Dearest Jane! who could have done less for her? But make a virtue of it
by all means. My good qualities are under your protection, and you are
to exaggerate them as much as possible; and, in return, it belongs to me
to find occasions for teasing and quarrelling with you as often as may
be; and I shall begin directly, by asking you what made you so unwilling
to come to the point at last? What made you so shy of me, when you
first called, and afterwards dined here? Why, especially, when you
called, did you look as if you did not care about me?”

“Because you were grave and silent, and gave me no encouragement.”

“But I was embarrassed.”

“And so was I.”

“You might have talked to me more when you came to dinner.”

“A man who had felt less might.”

“How unlucky that you should have a reasonable answer to give, and that
I should be so reasonable as to admit it! But I wonder how long you
would have gone on, if you had been left to yourself. I wonder when
you would have spoken if I had not asked you! My resolution of
thanking you for your kindness to Lydia had certainly great effect. Too
much, I am afraid; for what becomes of the moral, if our comfort
springs from a breach of promise, for I ought not to have mentioned the
subject? This will never do.”

“You need not distress yourself. The moral will be perfectly fair. Lady
Catherine’s unjustifiable endeavours to separate us were the means of
removing all my doubts. I am not indebted for my present happiness to
your eager desire of expressing your gratitude. I was not in a humour to
wait for an opening of yours. My aunt’s intelligence had given me hope,
and I was determined at once to know everything.”

“Lady Catherine has been of infinite use, which ought to make her happy,
for she loves to be of use. But tell me, what did you come down to
Netherfield for? Was it merely to ride to Longbourn and be embarrassed?
or had you intended any more serious consequences?”

“My real purpose was to see you, and to judge, if I could, whether I
might ever hope to make you love me. My avowed one, or what I avowed to
myself, was to see whether your sister was still partial to Bingley, and
if she were, to make the confession to him which I have since made.”

“Shall you ever have courage to announce to Lady Catherine what is to
befall her?”

“I am more likely to want time than courage, Elizabeth. But it ought to
be done; and if you will give me a sheet of paper it shall be done
directly.”

“And if I had not a letter to write myself, I might sit by you, and
admire the evenness of your writing, as another young lady once did. But
I have an aunt, too, who must not be longer neglected.”

From an unwillingness to confess how much her intimacy with Mr. Darcy
had been overrated, Elizabeth had never yet answered Mrs. Gardiner’s
long letter; but now, having that to communicate which she knew would
be most welcome, she was almost ashamed to find that her uncle and aunt
had already lost three days of happiness, and immediately wrote as
follows:--

“I would have thanked you before, my dear aunt, as I ought to have done,
for your long, kind, satisfactory detail of particulars; but, to say the
truth, I was too cross to write. You supposed more than really existed.
But now suppose as much as you choose; give a loose to your fancy,
indulge your imagination in every possible flight which the subject will
afford, and unless you believe me actually married, you cannot greatly
err. You must write again very soon, and praise him a great deal more
than you did in your last. I thank you again and again, for not going to
the Lakes. How could I be so silly as to wish it! Your idea of the
ponies is delightful. We will go round the park every day. I am the
happiest creature in the world. Perhaps other people have said so
before, but no one with such justice. I am happier even than Jane; she
only smiles, I laugh. Mr. Darcy sends you all the love in the world that
can be spared from me. You are all to come to Pemberley at Christmas.
Yours,” etc.

Mr. Darcy’s letter to Lady Catherine was in a different style, and still
different from either was what Mr. Bennet sent to Mr. Collins, in return
for his last.

/ “Dear Sir, /

“I must trouble you once more for congratulations. Elizabeth will
soon be the wife of Mr. Darcy. Console Lady Catherine as well as
you can. But, if I were you, I would stand by the nephew. He has
more to give.

“Yours sincerely,” etc.

Miss Bingley’s congratulations to her brother on his approaching
marriage were all that was affectionate and insincere. She wrote even to
Jane on the occasion, to express her delight, and repeat all her former
professions of regard. Jane was not deceived, but she was affected; and
though feeling no reliance on her, could not help writing her a much
kinder answer than she knew was deserved.

The joy which Miss Darcy expressed on receiving similar information was
as sincere as her brother’s in sending it. Four sides of paper were
insufficient to contain all her delight, and all her earnest desire of
being loved by her sister.

Before any answer could arrive from Mr. Collins, or any congratulations
to Elizabeth from his wife, the Longbourn family heard that the
Collinses were come themselves to Lucas Lodge. The reason of this
sudden removal was soon evident. Lady Catherine had been rendered so
exceedingly angry by the contents of her nephew’s letter, that
Charlotte, really rejoicing in the match, was anxious to get away till
the storm was blown over. At such a moment, the arrival of her friend
was a sincere pleasure to Elizabeth, though in the course of their
meetings she must sometimes think the pleasure dearly bought, when she
saw Mr. Darcy exposed to all the parading and obsequious civility of her
husband. He bore it, however, with admirable calmness. He could even
listen to Sir William Lucas, when he complimented him on carrying away
the brightest jewel of the country, and expressed his hopes of their all
meeting frequently at St. James’s, with very decent composure. If he did
shrug his shoulders, it was not till Sir William was out of sight.

Mrs. Philips’s vulgarity was another, and, perhaps, a greater tax on his
forbearance; and though Mrs. Philips, as well as her sister, stood in
too much awe of him to speak with the familiarity which Bingley’s
good-humour encouraged; yet, whenever she did speak, she must be
vulgar. Nor was her respect for him, though it made her more quiet, at
all likely to make her more elegant. Elizabeth did all she could to
shield him from the frequent notice of either, and was ever anxious to
keep him to herself, and to those of her family with whom he might
converse without mortification; and though the uncomfortable feelings
arising from all this took from the season of courtship much of its
pleasure, it added to the hope of the future; and she looked forward
with delight to the time when they should be removed from society so
little pleasing to either, to all the comfort and elegance of their
family party at Pemberley.

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