Chapter VIII

Marionetta observed the next day a remarkable perturbation in
Scythrop, for which she could not imagine any probable cause. She was
willing to believe at first that it had some transient and trifling
source, and would pass off in a day or two; but, contrary to this
expectation, it daily increased. She was well aware that Scythrop had
a strong tendency to the love of mystery, for its own sake; that is
to say, he would employ mystery to serve a purpose, but would first
choose his purpose by its capability of mystery. He seemed now to have
more mystery on his hands than the laws of the system allowed, and to
wear his coat of darkness with an air of great discomfort. All her
little playful arts lost by degrees much of their power either to
irritate or to soothe; and the first perception of her diminished
influence produced in her an immediate depression of spirits, and a
consequent sadness of demeanour, that rendered her very interesting to
Mr Glowry; who, duly considering the improbability of accomplishing
his wishes with respect to Miss Toobad (which improbability naturally
increased in the diurnal ratio of that young lady's absence), began
to reconcile himself by degrees to the idea of Marionetta being his
daughter.

Marionetta made many ineffectual attempts to extract from Scythrop the
secret of his mystery; and, in despair of drawing it from himself,
began to form hopes that she might find a clue to it from Mr Flosky,
who was Scythrop's dearest friend, and was more frequently than any
other person admitted to his solitary tower. Mr Flosky, however, had
ceased to be visible in a morning. He was engaged in the composition
of a dismal ballad; and, Marionetta's uneasiness overcoming her
scruples of decorum, she determined to seek him in the apartment which
he had chosen for his study. She tapped at the door, and at the sound
'Come in,' entered the apartment. It was noon, and the sun was shining
in full splendour, much to the annoyance of Mr Flosky, who had
obviated the inconvenience by closing the shutters, and drawing
the window-curtains. He was sitting at his table by the light of a
solitary candle, with a pen in one hand, and a muffineer in the other,
with which he occasionally sprinkled salt on the wick, to make it burn
blue. He sat with 'his eye in a fine frenzy rolling,' and turned his
inspired gaze on Marionetta as if she had been the ghastly ladie of
a magical vision; then placed his hand before his eyes, with an
appearance of manifest pain--shook his head--withdrew his hand--rubbed
his eyes, like a waking man--and said, in a tone of ruefulness most
jeremitaylorically pathetic, 'To what am I to attribute this very
unexpected pleasure, my dear Miss O'Carroll?'

MARIONETTA

I must apologise for intruding on you, Mr Flosky; but the interest
which I--you--take in my cousin Scythrop--

MR FLOSKY

Pardon me, Miss O'Carroll; I do not take any interest in any person or
thing on the face of the earth; which sentiment, if you analyse it,
you will find to be the quintessence of the most refined philanthropy.

MARIONETTA

I will take it for granted that it is so, Mr Flosky; I am not
conversant with metaphysical subtleties, but--

MR FLOSKY

Subtleties! my dear Miss O'Carroll. I am sorry to find you
participating in the vulgar error of the reading public, to whom
an unusual collocation of words, involving a juxtaposition of
antiperistatical ideas, immediately suggests the notion of
hyperoxysophistical paradoxology.

MARIONETTA

Indeed, Mr Flosky, it suggests no such notion to me. I have sought you
for the purpose of obtaining information.

MR FLOSKY (shaking his head)

No one ever sought me for such a purpose before.

MARIONETTA

I think, Mr Flosky--that is, I believe--that is, I fancy--that is, I
imagine--

MR FLOSKY

The [Greek: toytesti], the id est, the cioe, the c'est a dire,
the that is, my dear Miss O'Carroll, is not applicable in this
case--if you will permit me to take the liberty of saying so. Think
is not synonymous with believe--for belief, in many most important
particulars, results from the total absence, the absolute negation of
thought, and is thereby the sane and orthodox condition of mind; and
thought and belief are both essentially different from fancy, and
fancy, again, is distinct from imagination. This distinction between
fancy and imagination is one of the most abstruse and important points
of metaphysics. I have written seven hundred pages of promise to
elucidate it, which promise I shall keep as faithfully as the bank
will its promise to pay.

MARIONETTA

I assure you, Mr Flosky, I care no more about metaphysics than I do
about the bank; and, if you will condescend to talk to a simple girl
in intelligible terms--

MR FLOSKY

Say not condescend! Know you not that you talk to the most humble of
men, to one who has buckled on the armour of sanctity, and clothed
himself with humility as with a garment?

MARIONETTA

My cousin Scythrop has of late had an air of mystery about him, which
gives me great uneasiness.

MR FLOSKY

That is strange: nothing is so becoming to a man as an air of mystery.
Mystery is the very key-stone of all that is beautiful in poetry, all
that is sacred in faith, and all that is recondite in transcendental
psychology. I am writing a ballad which is all mystery; it is 'such
stuff as dreams are made of,' and is, indeed, stuff made of a dream;
for, last night I fell asleep as usual over my book, and had a vision
of pure reason. I composed five hundred lines in my sleep; so that,
having had a dream of a ballad, I am now officiating as my own Peter
Quince, and making a ballad of my dream, and it shall be called
Bottom's Dream, because it has no bottom.

MARIONETTA

I see, Mr Flosky, you think my intrusion unseasonable, and are
inclined to punish it, by talking nonsense to me. (Mr Flosky gave a
start at the word nonsense, which almost overturned the table.) I
assure you, I would not have intruded if I had not been very much
interested in the question I wish to ask you.--(Mr Flosky listened
in sullen dignity.)--My cousin Scythrop seems to have some secret
preying on his mind.--(Mr Flosky was silent.)--He seems very
unhappy--Mr Flosky.--Perhaps you are acquainted with the cause.--(Mr
Flosky was still silent.)--I only wish to know--Mr Flosky--if it is
any thing--that could be remedied by any thing--that any one--of whom
I know any thing--could do.

MR FLOSKY (after a pause)

There are various ways of getting at secrets. The most approved
methods, as recommended both theoretically and practically in
philosophical novels, are eavesdropping at key-holes, picking the
locks of chests and desks, peeping into letters, steaming wafers, and
insinuating hot wire under sealing wax; none of which methods I hold
it lawful to practise.

MARIONETTA

Surely, Mr Flosky, you cannot suspect me of wishing to adopt or
encourage such base and contemptible arts.

MR FLOSKY

Yet are they recommended, and with well-strung reasons, by writers of
gravity and note, as simple and easy methods of studying character,
and gratifying that laudable curiosity which aims at the knowledge of
man.

MARIONETTA

I am as ignorant of this morality which you do not approve, as of the
metaphysics which you do: I should be glad to know by your means, what
is the matter with my cousin; I do not like to see him unhappy, and I
suppose there is some reason for it.

MR FLOSKY

Now I should rather suppose there is no reason for it: it is the
fashion to be unhappy. To have a reason for being so would be
exceedingly common-place: to be so without any is the province of
genius: the art of being miserable for misery's sake, has been brought
to great perfection in our days; and the ancient Odyssey, which held
forth a shining example of the endurance of real misfortune, will
give place to a modern one, setting out a more instructive picture of
querulous impatience under imaginary evils.

MARIONETTA

Will you oblige me, Mr Flosky, by giving me a plain answer to a plain
question?

MR FLOSKY

It is impossible, my dear Miss O'Carroll. I never gave a plain answer
to a question in my life.

MARIONETTA

Do you, or do you not, know what is the matter with my cousin?

MR FLOSKY

To say that I do not know, would be to say that I am ignorant of
something; and God forbid, that a transcendental metaphysician, who
has pure anticipated cognitions of every thing, and carries the whole
science of geometry in his head without ever having looked into
Euclid, should fall into so empirical an error as to declare himself
ignorant of any thing: to say that I do know, would be to pretend to
positive and circumstantial knowledge touching present matter of fact,
which, when you consider the nature of evidence, and the various
lights in which the same thing may be seen--

MARIONETTA

I see, Mr Flosky, that either you have no information, or are
determined not to impart it; and I beg your pardon for having given
you this unnecessary trouble.

MR FLOSKY

My dear Miss O'Carroll, it would have given me great pleasure to have
said any thing that would have given you pleasure; but if any person
living could make report of having obtained any information on any
subject from Ferdinando Flosky, my transcendental reputation would be
ruined for ever.

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